Never Ending Movie Carnival
Never Ending Movie Carnival
Humour : Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das coming together in a period epic
OTT filmmaker Mani Kapoor announces an epic starring Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das.
OTT filmmaker Mani Kapoor is going through multiple feelings since the last twenty four hours and so.
The blockbuster filmmaker just can’t keep himself out from the Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das fiasco happening all over.
These two Indians Vir Das and Kangana Ranaut are at the centre of storm one for his comment/monologue on nation and the other for her comments on the father of the nation – Mahatma Gandhi.
Mani Kapoor is finding a solid super hit plot with bombastic potential in this circus run by the believers and non beliers (matlab Kangana or Vir ke believers or non believers).
Mani Kapoor calls his good old journalist friend Chingari Kumar from the controversial weekly filmy Imli and shares his vision.
Here is the conversation between OTT filmmaker Mani Kapoor and Chingari Kumar on the upcoming epic Yeh Hamara India starring Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das.
Chingari Kumar : Kaise hai sirji
Mani Kapoor: Bas, yeh toh kuch jyada hi ho gaya, Kangana or Vir Das ka.
Chingari Kumar: Ha par is baar choice hai circus dono taraf chalu hai.
Mani Kapoor: What you mean circus dono taraf.
Chingari Kumar : Sirji, dono ke apne lovers or haters hai. Dono taraf aag barabar lagi hui hai. (fire from both ends).
Mani Kapoor: Hmm.
Chingari Kapoor: But sirji what makes you so interested in all this. You are a filmmaker that too an OTT filmmaker what you have to do with realism, this ongoing real circus and politics.
Mani Kapoor: Arre am an Indian first.
Chingari Kapoor : Am also an Indian first but all these circus is becoming more and more amusing for me. Sirji, you are on which side.
Mani Kapoor: Am on India’s side. The nation’s side.
Chingari Kumar : So which Indian you are from Vir Das Two Indias.
Mani Kapoor : I belong to Subash Ghai’s Yeh Mera India, Kamal Hasan’s Indian type. Listen, I have a terrific idea.
Chingari Kumar: shoot.
Mani Kapoor : Am announcing Yeh Mera India staring Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das.
Chingari Kumar: Sensational. Will they agree?
Mani Kapoor: Am Mani I may not buy happiness but I can buy stars, stars can give happiness.
Chingari Kumar : I repeat, will Kangana Ranaut and Vir Das agree?
Mani Kapoor : Why not, good money and for a change a sitting time bomb in the plot which will win the audience all over.
Chingari Kumar : Am excited to hear the story
Mani Kapoor : Here it goes. It’s October 02, 2022, the movie opens at the same Kennedy auditorium, famous standup comedian and actor Vir Das is delivering his current famous Two Indians monologue. Padma Shri Kangana Ranaut is next to take the stage. Kangana has received special invitations from her fan club formed by Indian NRI’s who are also bhakts of our Dear PM Modiji.
Its Kangana’s turn and she starts talking about Manikarnika - Rani Laxmibai and how her bravery inspired Mahatma Gandhi during his days in Africa.
Kangana continues and adds, Rani Laxmibai’s famous line, “ Mein apni jhansi kisi ko nahi doong”, (I won’t surrender Jhansi) is the seed of motivation for Mahatma Gandhi’s unparallel reluctance to vacant his first class seat that day in Africa which changed the lawyer into a great freedom fighter.
Like Rani Lakshibai– the great Manikarnika changed from a wife, mother, queen to a fearless warrior for India.
The NRI bhakht crowd cheers. Vir Das starts laughing loudly.
Kangana Ranaut in a fit of rage slaps Vir Das and he falls down hurting his forehead. The incident becomes big in India and America.
Kangana returns to India and begins the shoot of her upcoming biggie Matarani. The recovered Vir Das comes back to India but has surprisingly lost is humour quotient and is haunted by memories of Indian freedom struggle, Mahatma Gandhi, Rani Laxmibai and patriotic movies by Manoj Kumar.
During one of those haunted memories at night like Zanjeer, Vir Das sees a picture of himself with Kangana doing a replica of Achut Kanya’s main ban ki chidiya filmed originally on Ashok Kumar and Devika Rani.
Vir Das realizes that Kangana Ranaut is his love from previous birth (Punar janam).
Vir Das immediately rushes to the set where Kangana Ranaut is shooting for her mega budget epic Matarani. Kangana Ranaut is essaying triple role in the touted mega blockbuster. Kangana plays an actress of the pre independence era modeled on Devika Rani, A fearless lady politician modeled on ex India’s PM Indira Gandhi and a God women of today’s times.
Today is the shoot of the same, mein ban ki chidiya song. Kangana begins the shoot, all is going well but suddenly she says Das, mere pyare das, tum kaha ho in that typical accent/ lingo used during the Achut Kanya days of Indian cinema.
The unit is stunned. The same memories which haunted Vir Das starts haunting Kangana Ranaut and she starts running in the crowd crying, “Das, mere pyare das, tum kaha ho”. Vir Das climbs over the crowd and sings Main ban ka panchi in the same vintage Ashok Kumar style.
Kangana Ranaut spots him she also climbs over the packed crowd and sings along with Vir Das.
Kangana Ranaut: Mere Das
Vir Das: Meri Rani
Kangana Ranaut : Rani nahi, daasi, apne das ki daasi
They both get married setting a terrific example of unity in diversity, love conquering all and how two different Indians can make one great India overpowering all the bhakti and shakti. Yeh Hamara India.
Mani Kapoor: What you say
Chingari Kumar : Mind blowing. Another national award for Kangana Ranaut and finally a main stream blockbuster for Vir Das.
(Disclaimer: The above write up is a light-hearted take and is a figment of imagination of the author. The author has no intention to hurt anyone’s feelings. The website does not hold any responsibility)
A child born from life & fed by cinema. A filmi keeda from child & a film journalist for the last fifteen years. a father, seeker, foodie who loves crooning bollywood melodies twitter.com/cineblues More By vishal verma